One in a million part 2

As salam and Hi

Continue from previous one in a million.

The Daughter

Today I am going to talk about the daughter. She grown up in the western world, if I did not mention before. But she is more Malay except for her skin color that follow the father.

LOVE Malay foods
She loves to eat rice, lempeng pisang (banana pancake), Sardine, capati and of course she eats western food too.  She can cook and her cooking is not bad, may be not as good as her mother but the foods she cooks are nice. Not only does she knows how to make western food she too good with Malay cookies such as curry puff and she can do the side so beautiful

FLATTING

Living away from home (flatting) is common for western children after the age of 18 and she wants to do so but with her Malay mother behind her, she forgets the ideas.  The mother did not stop her from moving out but if she wants to do so she must be totally responsible and independence. No stuff to be taken from home, no laundary over the weekend, no monetaty support, nothing. If she can handle all that, she can stay out. So she stay with her parents

Of course living at home comes with responsibilities.  Office works during week days and house work (vacuuming, dusting, washing toilet, laundary, etc, etc) during week end. It is her chores.  All these are done without being asked.

As I mentioned before she speak good Malay, she is proud to wear Malay dressing.

DRESSING
With regards to dressing, no revealing dress to be worn at home or at work. She uses Malay costume such as baju kurung. She wore it that during her convocation. She too wear skirt made of batik.  She too can sew beleive it or not

TALKING
She talks and discusses with her parents about works, what what happend at work on regular basis. When discussions take place in a family, she cannot just jumps in to say, she has to put up her hands before she can be allowed to talk.
The moral of the story, it is all up to the Malay parent (be it father or mother) who can esnure the Malay are runs and stays in the blood.

That is for now. Of course I have not finished yet. In part three I will talk about the Mother, the wife, and the Woman who is the ONE in a MILLION.  Meantimen, enjoy reading and give comment.

One in a Miillion Part 1

As Salam

There is no word to describe this individual.  I have known her for over ten years. She almost like a family to me.  She is the kindest, sweetest, generous, kindhearted, sincere, genuine all in one. She is not very literate, standard three only (I think). By the way she is married to a white guy (second marriage). Her English or should I say her English grammar is not good but she get by with anyone. Her thinking, her action, her attitude is beyond those with triple Master or PhD. She is known to all the VIPs where she lives but she treats them the same. She is known to almost all people in this part of the district where she live.  As far as she is concern everyone that comes to her house is the same, no Dato. Datin, Tan Sri (Yes she had all these people come to her humble house.

She has two children, one is mixed the other is Malay.  She lives by her principle. She is a very Solehah wife and a good mother.  She makes money through her little business in her garage. I talk about her later

Let talk about her husband. He is also being well looked after and he too look after his family well. He has the white way of living in a good way and a Malay way of living.  He helps with washing cloth, doing the dishes, makes bed (every day and change bed every weekend without fail). He supported his wife in every way. He is very focus, and do things in an instance. He of course do the man job such as lawn the grass, wash around the house, gardening and the rest. So that the Western side of him. He value family live because he brought up by parents who value live 

The Malay side of him, he accepted visitors to his house at anytime without appoinment because his house is the place where people meet. People come to thier house to eat, to tell thier grievences or to get help. He never complain.though a lot of times the wife is the one who entertain visitors because he works 9-5 while she is at home most of the times.  He helps any new people comes and provides them with whatever they have to settle in. I forgot to mention, her husband too makes coffee for us (including the daughter) after dinner. 

He is a very dicipline man.  He wakes up at up at 5 am every day, do whatever he needs to do, have breakfast makes bed, read while the wife prepare his lunch box. He leaves for office at 7 am after kissing his wife. He kisses her everyday without fail. And he had packed lunch ever since he is married this wonderful person.  For the past 25 years of his marriage, he never had lunch other than the lunch the wife prepared for him.  If he left the lunch at home, the wife will sent it to him. 

He never complain about the food (literally never) and he eats anything the wife prepare (of course the wife is an excellent cook, Malay and western foods). He only eats out when the wife is not around.  He expects his wife to be at home when he got home but do not mind if she goes out as long as he is aware where she goes. He does not drink or smoke. When the wife baby sitting, he make sure the wife pays full attention to the children's well being. By the way she looked after my children when I studied. He is not a big spender who goes out to meet friends except for works related or his hobby (flying plane).

I forgot to mention;  he calls his wife SAYANG and the wife calls him LOVE. They used the words with meaning and sincerity.

Let me introduce her daughter (the mixed) went to university without loan, all from her money. Her  daughter speaks better Malay than the children of both Malay parents. 

To be continued

How Birthday Parties Began

As Salam

Where did this universal Birthday originate?

The World Book - Childcraft International says regarding "Holidays and Birthdays", "For thousands of years people all over the world have thought of a birthday as a very special day. Long ago, people believed that o­n a birthday a person could be helped by good spirits, or hurt by evil spirits. So, when a person had a birthday, friends and relatives gathered to protect him or her. And that's how birthday parties began."

 

"The idea of putting candles o­n birthday cakes goes back to ancient Greece. The Greeks worshipped many gods and goddesses. Among them was o­ne called Artemis." "Artemis was the goddess of the moon. The Greeks celebrated her birthday o­nce each month by bringing special cakes to her temple. The cakes were round like a full moon. And, because the moon glows with light, the cakes were decorated with lighted candles."

The Greeks believed that everyone had a protective spirit or daemon who attended his birth and watched over him in life. This spirit had a mystic relation with the god o­n whose birthday the individual was born.

The Romans also subscribed to this idea. This notion was carried down in human belief and is reflected in the guardian angel, the fairy godmother and the patron saint. Birthday candles, in folk belief, are endowed with special magic for granting wishes. Lighted tapers and sacrificial fires have had a special mystic significance ever since man first set up altars to his gods. The birthday candles are thus an honor and tribute to the birthday child and bring good fortune.

This authority goes o­n: "More and more, though, people the world over attach a certain magic to their actual date of birth... We may wear a ring with our birthstone in it for good luck. And when we blow out the candles o­n our birthday cake, we are careful to keep what we wished a secret. If we tell, of course, our wish won't come true."

"In other words, many times o­ne follows - THE OLD BIRTHDAY BELIEFS. o­ne pays attention to the meanings of old-time birth symbols and indulges in OLD CELEBRATIONS. o­ne does not take them seriously - mainly for fun.

Why do people say, "Happy birthday!" to each other? Says this authority, "For the good wishes of our friends and relatives are supposed to protect us from evil spirits."

Egyptians observed birthdays, but o­nly for their rulers. They held parades, circuses, gladiatorial contests, and sumptuous feasts! The Romans staged parades and chariot races to celebrate birthdays; some of which were created for their gods. Mere mortals were not honored or even remembered o­n the day of their birth.

The birthday cake is o­nly 200 years old! Cakes made from sweetened bread dough and coated with sugar, were the first birthday cakes and they originated in Germany.

It has been said that if the cake falls while baking, it is a sign of bad luck in the coming year. Coins, buttons, and rings were baked into cakes. The guest who receiving the slice with the coin was guaranteed riches in the future, the ring signified marriage.

In ancient times, people prayed over the flames of an open fire. They believed that the smoke carried their thoughts up to the gods. Today, the belief is, that if you blow out all your candles in o­ne breath, your wish will come true.

All these customs and traditions connected with the observance of birthdays have to do with guessing the future, good wishes for the future, good luck charms against evil spirits, and the like. All the birthday rituals, games, and ceremonies are a form of well-wishing toward the birthday child, which are supposed to work their magic in the year ahead. But, as we have seen, the custom is totally PAGAN!

The tradition of birthday parties started in Europe a long time ago. It was feared that evil spirits were particularly attracted to people o­n their birthdays. To protect them from harm, friends and family would to come to be with the birthday person and bring good thoughts and wishes. Gifts brought even more good cheer to ward off the evil spirits. This is how birthday parties began.

At first it was o­nly kings who were recognized as important enough to have a birthday celebration (maybe this is how the tradition of birthday crowns began?). As time went by, children became included in birthday celebrations. The first children's birthday parties occurred in Germany and were called Kinderfeste.

Islamic Perspective

Should a Muslim have anything to do with ceremonies that trace back to pagan times, and pagan rituals? Should a true Muslim indulge himself or his or her children in pagan birthday parties, just because they seem so attractive, fun, and "innocent"?

These birthday celebrations, therefore originated from pagan belief. These also involve imitation of the Jews and Christians in their birthday celebrations. Warning us against following their ways and traditions, The Prophet (peace and blessings of Allah be upon him) said : "You would follow the ways of those who came before you step by step, to such an extent that if they were to enter a lizard's hole, you would enter it too." They said, "O Messenger of Allah, (do you mean) the Jews and Christians?" He said, "Who else?" (Reported by al-Bukhari and Muslim). The Prophet (peace and blessings of Allah be upon him) also said: "Whoever imitates a people is o­ne of them." (Abu Dawood)

In the Sunnah: Anas ibn Maalik (may Allah be pleased with him) said: "The Messenger of Allah (peace and blessings of Allah be upon him) came (to Madinah) and they had two days in which they would (relax and) play. He said, What are these two days? They said, We used to play (on these two days) during the Jahiliyyah. The Messenger of Allah (peace and blessings of Allah be upon him) said: Allah has given you something better instead of them: Yawm ul-Duha (Eid al-Adha) and Yawm ul-Fitr (Eid al-Fitr)."  (Reported by Abu Dawood).

This indicates clearly that the Prophet (peace and blessings of Allah be upon him) definitely forbade his ummah to celebrate the festivals of the kuffaar, and he strove to wipe them out by all possible means. The fact that the religion of the People of the Book is accepted does not mean that their festivals are approved of or should be preserved by the ummah, just as the rest of their kufr and sins are not approved of. Indeed, the Prophet (peace and blessings of Allah be upon him) went to great lengths to command his ummah to be different from them in many issues that are mubaah (permitted) and in many ways of worship. This being different was to be a barrier in all aspects, because the more different you are, the less likely you are to do the acts of those who go astray.

The hadith "Every people has its festival, and this is our festival " implies exclusivity, that every people has its own festival, as Allah says (interpretation of the meaning): "For every nation there is a direction to which they face (in their prayers)" (al-Baqarah 2:148) and "To each among you, We have prescribed a law and a clear way" (al-Maaidah 5:48). This implies that each nation has its own ways. The laam in li-kulli (for every, to each) implies exclusivity. So if the Jews have a festival and the Christians have a festival, it is just for them, and we should not have any part in it, just as we do not share their qiblah (direction of prayer) or their laws.http://www.calgaryislam.com/

Think about it

 

Compromising on Education and Health

 As Salam

 A Nurse In ICU.

 

This month will be fourth month, I am "staying home" I am happy, but I feel that my knowledge is not being  transferred. I can work full time in most private institutions but it will be against my principal.  Public and private institutions have different values and missions

One go for total profit, the other go for quality.  I am for quality and because of that I will not joining most private institution unless the private institution opted for profit (because they need to support them selves) at the same time maintain their quality and there are a few private institutions which do that. My focus for this topic is nursing

While the public institutions are struggling to cope with a small number of students (average 30-70 per/ year intake) for degree and diploma program, the private are taking in hundreds and a couple of time a year. And while the public institutions having many thoughts to start Master and PhD program, private institutions are eagerly wanting to run Masters and PhD program but they do not have the expertise for their students.  And they somehow get the program running though, many at time the program are not approved by experts who review their document.

Malaysia currently has less than 20 nurses with PhD and most of them are in Public institutions and I can named all of them.  Can we go for quality. Remember one thing, when a teacher is less knowledgeable and less experiences the students will have lesser knowledge with limited skills.  As times pass, less knowledge and poorer skills are transferred. The knowledge and skills become more and more diluted.  Where will these graduates work and who are they serving MAJORITY of POPULATION of MALAYSIA who are of medium and low-income group which include most of us. And at the same time the Malaysian nurses are less sought by other nations, namely middle east

The evidences are there.  Recently a friend who work in an established recruitment agency for middle eastern inform me, that the hospital from middle east that came to recruit nurses rejected all the, young nurses who came for interviews.  Why- poor command of English, could not answer skill based and written questions (something that was not done before) and could not explain orally on nursing issues during interviews.  Most of the potential nurses are from two giant private institutions. And there are few established teaching hospital will try to avoid employing graduates (diploma) from private institutions. (Of course there are few who excel)

To teach nursing, knowledge is vital but since nursing is a skill based profession, makes skills another vital components as well.  Sadly, many young graduate from Public institutions thinks that following graduation they are eligible to teach and do not require to do nursing job.  They are so arrogance with their undergraduate qualifications, making fun of those who are more qualified and experiences. 

There are graduate students who rejected nursing totally. They rather sell insurance by setting table at a mall.  To sell insurance you need a good communication skills and line of loyal customers. They should do nursing first for few years than sell insurance, in fact they can sell insurance while still doing nursing (to do after work hours of course).  I have a friends who worked as a nurse for a long period of time, now a successful insurance agents.  And I also have another  friend who also worked as a nurse for a period of time now is a successful lawyer.  These are smart people. Now they are asset to the agencies where they work

Nurses always wants respect and says that they do not get enough respect from doctors.  Asked yourself.  Doctors work hard and study hard, they practice their skill. within classroom by teaching and do their practice in hospital all the times. Doctors cannot immediately teach following graduation (they need 2 years housemenship, a few more years as medical officers, then they will chose a field of specialty they are interested to study (another four years) before they can call themselves lectures. For that they can speak, mingle around and produce quality ideas in any meeting.  These applied to the senior nursing lectures.

Most of the young arrogance nursing graduates, prefer not to be in hospital, if they go it is only to show faces. Students term them as TOUCH and GO lecturer (tutor in most University but in other they are call assistant lecturer).for clinical supervision and POWERPOINT lecturers (for classroom teaching). again there is those are excel during teaching.
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I have a nice who study in private institution. She mentioned that she has a tutor (my former student) who do not how to make bed, a very simple and basic nursing procedure.  It is not surprising when I further ask her bout normal reading of vital signs (BP and temperature) she cannot answer instantly, she needs to think.  This did not happen when you ask the senior experience nurses.

  Think about it

Dr Aishah

Marriage and Divorce make it easy

Marriage is a very happy occassion and a time of joy.  Every couple who gor married hope that the marriage will last forever, -happily ever after. To do that a lot need to be done by each spouse- husband and wife.  Marriage need to ignited and spice up to keep it alive, and to continue the love and affection for one another. 

Marriage is sharing and giving by both. It is not one way. Both spouse have responsibilities, which mean equal but of course there are role which only women can do, like getting pregnant, and there are a role of a man which is to provide (Shelter, food and protection).

Sherif Mohammed says by getting married a man is not just getting a wife, he also getting a whole world. The wife will the partner, the companion, and the best friend.


She will share your moments, your days, and your years. She will share your joys and sorrows, your successes and failures, your dreams and your fears. She take the best care of you when you ill; when you need help, she will do all she can for you When you have a secret, she will keep it; when you need advice, she will give you the best advice. She will always be with you: when you wake up in the morning the first thing your eyes will see will be hers; during the day, she will be with you, if for a moment she is not with you by her physical body, she will be thinking of you, praying for you with all her heart, mind, and soul; when you go to sleep at night, the last thing your eyes will see will be her; and when you are asleep you will still see her in your dreams. In short, she will be your whole world and you will be her whole world.


Spouses are like garments to each other because they provide one another with the protection, the comfort, the cover, the support, and the adornment that garments provide to humans.

As explained in surah baqarah 2:187 "They are your garments and you are their garments"The relationship between the spouses is the most amazing of all human relations: the amount of love and affection, intimacy and closeness, mercy and compassion, peace and tranquillity that fills the hearts of the spouses is simply inexplicable.


The only rational explanation for these most amazing of all human feelings is as the Quran says


"And Allah has made for you Mates (and Companions) of your own nature ..." (Surah Al Nahl 16:72)


Allah SWT reminding those who search for His signs in the universe that these feelings in the hearts of the spouses are among the signs that should guide humans to His existence as He says in the Qur'an,


"And among His signs is this, that He created for you mates from among yourselves that you may dwell in tranquillity with them and He has put love and mercy between your hearts: verily in that are signs for those who reflect." (Surah Al Rum 30:21)


But Allah SWT knows that the human heart is not a static entity, it is sometimes weak and at times dynamic. Feelings can and do change with time. Love may wither and fade away. The marital bond might weaken if not properly cared for. Happiness in marriage cannot be taken for granted; continuous happiness requires constant giving from both sides. For the tree of marital love to remain alive and keep growing, the soil has to be sustained, maintained, watered and nurtured.


The Prophet Muhammad (pbuh) had found the time to go out to the desert and race with his wife Aisha. She out ran him but later after she had gained some weight, he out ran her.


He took his wife to watch the young Ethiopians playing and dancing their folk dances. The show of emotions is necessary to keep the marital bond away from rusting and disintegrating.


You will be rewarded by Allah SWT for any emotions you show to your wife as the Prophet (pbuh) said "one would be rewarded for anything that he does seeking the pleasure of Allah even the food that he puts in the mouth of his wife."


Never underestimate the importance of seemingly little things as putting food in your wife's mouth, opening the car's door for her, etc.


Prophet (pbuh) used to extend his knee to his wife to assist her up to ride the camel.


Try to always find some time for both of you to pray together. Strengthening the bond between you and Allah SWTis the best guarantee that your own marital bond would always remain strong. Having peace with Allah Subhanahu wa Ta'ala will always result in having more peace at home.


Prophet (pbuh) gave glad tidings for those couples who wake up at night to pray together. He urged the spouse who rises up first to wake the other spouse up even by throwing cold water on his/her face.


Always try your best to be good to your wife by words and by deeds. Talk to her, smile to her, seek her advice, ask for her opinion, spend quality time with her and always. Prophet (pbuh) said "the best of you are those who are best to their wives."


It is not enough just to vow to love your wife. You have to love what she loves as well. Her family, her loved ones must also become your loved ones.  Also, it is not enough that you love her until death do you part. Love should never end and we do believe there is life after death where those who did righteousness in this world will be joined by their spouses (Surah Al Zukhruf 43:70) and offsprings.


The best example in this regard is the Prophet (pbuh) whose love for Khadija, extended to include all those she loved and continued even after her death. It was many years after her death and he never forgot her and whenever a goat was slaughtered in his house he would send portions of it to Khadija's family and friends and whenever he felt that the visitor at the door might be Khadija's sister Hala, he would pray saying "O Allah let it be Hala."
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But not all hopeS will come true or fulfillED.  Today marriages to last forver will need miracle.  


Despit the marriage courses conducted, the number of dovorces increases. The marriage courses usually stress on the women's role but limited is explained on the men's role as presnted in the example given and shown in the Quran and by Prophet (pbuh).

As an agency or organization that handled marriage and divorce, needs to be professional and handle divorce as fair nd equal as possible.

People or couple who have experience oversea lives usually choose to get married oversea or get divorce oversea because it is fast, and painless.  The princip is simple.  Based on the marriage vow, if a man failed to provide physical, emotional, sexual needs, marriage become void. Of course the rules, the hukum (hukum Islam, that is) applied.

I have known people (not one) who got married (nikah) oversea and come home for the ceremony and I also have friends who divorce not settle after years in court remarry oversea. 

The longer the process takes, the more people money are spents and more times are wasted.

When marriage should end, it need to end as happy as the marriage was. Unfortunately it does not.  It usually ends with bitterness, costly, humiliation, long process and hatred.  And it is the females will suffer the most.

Dentist

4/7/11

Going to Dentist is a trip that not many like to do unless we have problem, a scenario which should not happen.  We need to visit dentist before we have problem.  I am no exception though my son is a dentist.

However today, I visited a dentist (not in Malaysia).  Masyallah. I forgot about the pain, the worry because from the moment I arrived until I left, I was so overjoy. The receptionist was welcoming then the dentist welcome me to the room.  He seated me, talked with me and hanged my jacket.  He smiled, and continued talking while he is doing his job. Injection was given, but I did not feel it, masyallah. He thank me at every effort I made.

As soon as I finished and returned home, I e-mailed my son and telling him my experience advising him to do the same.  Being in health care services or any other services for that matter, we need to have this kind of attitude be it a nurse, a doctor or any paramedic.

Dr Aishah

quote of the day

Dr Edward Trudeau'

Cure sometimes, relief often, comfort always. Those words should define our role as physicians. As for being Muslims our actions should speak louder & better than our words.





Dr Aishah Ali