As Salam
Hampir semua orang di Malaysia mempunyai Astro. Ia boleh di tonton 24 jam. Kalau mals tengok wayang, tengok lah Astro. Waktu terbaik untuk duduk rumah dan menonton Astro ialah pada waktu cuaca kurang baik terutamanya bila hujan, Malang nya bila hujan siaran akantergendala. Dalam erti kata lain tiada siaran.
Namun bil Astro kerap di naikkan tetapi mengapa perkhidmtan terbaik tidak pernah di tingkatkan. Alasan siaran terganggu bila hujan tidak boleh diterima dalam dunia teknolgo modern.
Saya pernah duduok di negara di mana angin boleh menerbangkan bumbong rumah, tiang lampu boleh tercabut, apa lagi kereta dan pejalan kaki di tolak tetapi siaran TV berbiar seperti Astro tidak pernah terjejas dengan cuaca.
Kita selalu bagi alasan atas kelemahah dan ketidaksempurnaan kerja dan perkhidmatan yang di beri.
Itu lah orang kita.
Dr Aishah
Wednesday 9 November 2011
Tuesday 11 October 2011
KERANI
AS Salam dan Hi
Bila sebut kerani, kita akan bayangkan seorang wanita di meja dengan mesin taip dan sekarang komputer. Walaupun kaum lelaki kini telah juga memasuki bidang kekeranian tetapi, masih ramai wanita yang bertugas sebagai kerani. Kalau orang orang tua, tak kira pangkat semua di sebut kerani. sekarang banyak nama di beri bersesuaian dengan tugsan yang mereka lakukan
Pembantu peribadi, pembantu pejabat, ketua kerani, pegawai kerani, dan sekarang nama nama yang di beri lebih glamaour.
Tugas kerani dalam satu satu badan, jabatan, unit amat penting. Sebagai pembantu peribadi umpama nya dia membantu boss dalam hal hal harian- umpama nya menip surat, memastikan waktu mesyuarat, mengambil nota, buat temu janji dan sebagai nya. Begitulah seterusnya, dengan kehadiran kerani, tugasan pegawai pegawai akan lebih teratur. Keputusan dalam urusan pejabat terletak di tangan Boss, dengan maklum balas dari kerana mengenai fakta dan butiran yang perlu
Tetapi hari ini Kerani /pegawai kerani atau apa pun tugas pekeranian mereka, mempunyi KUASA yang amat besar. Kuasa ini bukan di beri tetapi di ambil sendiri oleh mereka, dan mereka sekarang Lebih "BERKUASA"
Ambil contoh di sekolah. Saya tahu kerana, semua adik beradik dan ipar duai saya melainkan seorang, adalah cikgu sekolah, dan saya sekarang walaupun seorang jururawat kini menjgi cikgu jururawat.
Cikgu cikgu ini terpaksa menjadi kerani. Kertas periksa cikgu kena tulis, biodata murid cikgu kena masukkan, dan banyak lagi tugas kerana terpaksa dibuat oleh cikgu, kerena kerani telah bertukar kuasa (mengusai kakitangan) sekolah dan para para ketua membenarkan nya dan tidak tegas, atau tidak berani menegur mereka ini. Ini berlaku bukan sahaja sekolah, ia juga berlaku di pusat pengajian tinggi.Bagi mereka yang berani menegur, nasib mereka di hujong tanduk kerana mereka menguasai hal hal pengambilan pekerja. Mereka boleh menolak kaki tangan akademik. Tidak ada salahnya kita melakukan tugasan kerani tetapi jika ia menjejskan atau meyebabkan tugas hakiki sebagai pendidik berkurangan, maka masalah baru dan aduan akan muncul. Dalam banyak hal cikgu juga perlu menjadi ibu, bapa, ustaz, jururawat, dan seterusnya tetapi biarkan cikgu menjadi cikgu dan kerana menjdi kerani
Jadi untuk selamat ramai yang yang mejadi kawan mereka. Orang putih kata, " IF you cannot fight them join them". Of course orang and lemah dan tidak berpendirian sahaja yang ambil langkah seperti pepatah ini.
Ingat ya, masih da kerani yang baik dan cekap, saya mempunyai seorang dari nya. Sangat cekap,dengan sedikit kelemahan yang boleh di perbaiki dan di ajari.
Renungi dan fikirkan, di mana anda berada.
Dr Aishah Ali
Bila sebut kerani, kita akan bayangkan seorang wanita di meja dengan mesin taip dan sekarang komputer. Walaupun kaum lelaki kini telah juga memasuki bidang kekeranian tetapi, masih ramai wanita yang bertugas sebagai kerani. Kalau orang orang tua, tak kira pangkat semua di sebut kerani. sekarang banyak nama di beri bersesuaian dengan tugsan yang mereka lakukan
Pembantu peribadi, pembantu pejabat, ketua kerani, pegawai kerani, dan sekarang nama nama yang di beri lebih glamaour.
Tugas kerani dalam satu satu badan, jabatan, unit amat penting. Sebagai pembantu peribadi umpama nya dia membantu boss dalam hal hal harian- umpama nya menip surat, memastikan waktu mesyuarat, mengambil nota, buat temu janji dan sebagai nya. Begitulah seterusnya, dengan kehadiran kerani, tugasan pegawai pegawai akan lebih teratur. Keputusan dalam urusan pejabat terletak di tangan Boss, dengan maklum balas dari kerana mengenai fakta dan butiran yang perlu
Tetapi hari ini Kerani /pegawai kerani atau apa pun tugas pekeranian mereka, mempunyi KUASA yang amat besar. Kuasa ini bukan di beri tetapi di ambil sendiri oleh mereka, dan mereka sekarang Lebih "BERKUASA"
Ambil contoh di sekolah. Saya tahu kerana, semua adik beradik dan ipar duai saya melainkan seorang, adalah cikgu sekolah, dan saya sekarang walaupun seorang jururawat kini menjgi cikgu jururawat.
Cikgu cikgu ini terpaksa menjadi kerani. Kertas periksa cikgu kena tulis, biodata murid cikgu kena masukkan, dan banyak lagi tugas kerana terpaksa dibuat oleh cikgu, kerena kerani telah bertukar kuasa (mengusai kakitangan) sekolah dan para para ketua membenarkan nya dan tidak tegas, atau tidak berani menegur mereka ini. Ini berlaku bukan sahaja sekolah, ia juga berlaku di pusat pengajian tinggi.Bagi mereka yang berani menegur, nasib mereka di hujong tanduk kerana mereka menguasai hal hal pengambilan pekerja. Mereka boleh menolak kaki tangan akademik. Tidak ada salahnya kita melakukan tugasan kerani tetapi jika ia menjejskan atau meyebabkan tugas hakiki sebagai pendidik berkurangan, maka masalah baru dan aduan akan muncul. Dalam banyak hal cikgu juga perlu menjadi ibu, bapa, ustaz, jururawat, dan seterusnya tetapi biarkan cikgu menjadi cikgu dan kerana menjdi kerani
Jadi untuk selamat ramai yang yang mejadi kawan mereka. Orang putih kata, " IF you cannot fight them join them". Of course orang and lemah dan tidak berpendirian sahaja yang ambil langkah seperti pepatah ini.
Ingat ya, masih da kerani yang baik dan cekap, saya mempunyai seorang dari nya. Sangat cekap,dengan sedikit kelemahan yang boleh di perbaiki dan di ajari.
Renungi dan fikirkan, di mana anda berada.
Dr Aishah Ali
KLINIK MATA
15/9/11
Semalam, saya melawat ke klinik mata untuk pemeriksaan mata yang senantiasa menangis (block duct). Doktor yang merawat baik orang nya, munkin kerena kawan anak, tapi apa pun dia baik. Selepas menceritakan masalah dan melihat mata, dokor berkenaan ingin melihat lebih mendalam untuk mengetahui tahap mata yang tersumbat. Dia menyediakan cecair berwarna kuning, perkara biasa yang di buat.
Jururawat dan seorang lagi kaki tangan (pembantu kesihatan, rasa nya) masuk dan bertanya doktor berkenaan kenapa mengunakan warna kuning "selalu guna normal saline saja" didepan saya. Cara pertanyaan itu di buat membuat doktor merasa serba slah dan saya nampak mata doktor berkenaan memberi jelingan tidak senang kepada jururawat dan staff tersebut. Bagus bertanya tetapi bertanya di depan pesakit dan cara bertanya yang meragui doktor tersebut menakutkan saya
Sepatutnya panggil doktor keluar dan cakap diluar pendengaran pesakit, jika betul doktor berkenaan salah mengunakan cecair. Mana tahap profesionalism seorang jururawat. Ini antara sikap jururawat yang perlu du ubah. Tegur menegur adalah bagus, tapi cara menegur mestilah betul. Jangan memalukan seseorang, tak kira siapa.
Apa pun, mata saya alhamdullilah, tak perlu kan rawatan invasive.
Dr Aishah Ali
Semalam, saya melawat ke klinik mata untuk pemeriksaan mata yang senantiasa menangis (block duct). Doktor yang merawat baik orang nya, munkin kerena kawan anak, tapi apa pun dia baik. Selepas menceritakan masalah dan melihat mata, dokor berkenaan ingin melihat lebih mendalam untuk mengetahui tahap mata yang tersumbat. Dia menyediakan cecair berwarna kuning, perkara biasa yang di buat.
Jururawat dan seorang lagi kaki tangan (pembantu kesihatan, rasa nya) masuk dan bertanya doktor berkenaan kenapa mengunakan warna kuning "selalu guna normal saline saja" didepan saya. Cara pertanyaan itu di buat membuat doktor merasa serba slah dan saya nampak mata doktor berkenaan memberi jelingan tidak senang kepada jururawat dan staff tersebut. Bagus bertanya tetapi bertanya di depan pesakit dan cara bertanya yang meragui doktor tersebut menakutkan saya
Sepatutnya panggil doktor keluar dan cakap diluar pendengaran pesakit, jika betul doktor berkenaan salah mengunakan cecair. Mana tahap profesionalism seorang jururawat. Ini antara sikap jururawat yang perlu du ubah. Tegur menegur adalah bagus, tapi cara menegur mestilah betul. Jangan memalukan seseorang, tak kira siapa.
Apa pun, mata saya alhamdullilah, tak perlu kan rawatan invasive.
Dr Aishah Ali
Monday 3 October 2011
Memberi salam
Pengunaan Salam
Adalah di sarankan mengikut sunnah, menegur sesama Islam dengan salam dan adalah wajib salam di jawab (It is a recommended sunnah to greet the muslim); it is fard (obligatory) to reply. Walau bagaimana pun Wanita tidak di mestikan bercakap dengan bukan Muhrim (Exceptions are that women are not expected to have to speak to non-mahram men.
The generally expected greeting is "As sala'amu alaikum" (peace be upon you) and the generally expected reply is "walaikum as sala'am" (and unto you also, peace).
Adding "wa rahmatullahi" (and mercy) and/or "wa barakatuhu" (and blessings) is a commendable act. If someone adds mercy and/or blessings in their salaams to you, you should reply with the same or add more goodness to it (i.e. if someone says "As sala'amu alaikum wa rahmatullahi", you should reply with "As sala'amu alaikum wa rahmatullahi" or also add "wa barakatuhu".
An-Nur 24:61
...when you enter the houses, greet one another with a greeting from Allâh (i.e. say: As-Salâmu 'Alaikum - peace be on you) blessed and good. Thus Allâh makes clear the Ayât (these Verses or your religious symbols and signs, etc.) to you that you may understand.
Qur'an An-Nisa 4:86
When you are greeted with a greeting, greet in return with what is better than it, or (at least) return it equally. Certainly, Allâh is Ever a Careful Account Taker of all things.
Ibn Katheer raheemahullaah explained, "If the person greeted you with the Salaam you should reply in a better form, or reply similarly. However, the extended form is preferable, but the shorter is compulsory. Which means that greeting is preferable but the greeting in return is compulsory, and it should be in the form of the Salaam and not in any other form."
Dr Aishah
Tuesday 27 September 2011
NICE quote.
As Salam and Hi
TOUGH TIME does not last but TOUGH PEOPLE last
Masa susah tak bertahan lama tapi orang tabah boleh tahan lama
Maka jadi lah orang tabah walaupun dalam kesusahan
Dr Aishah
TOUGH TIME does not last but TOUGH PEOPLE last
Masa susah tak bertahan lama tapi orang tabah boleh tahan lama
Maka jadi lah orang tabah walaupun dalam kesusahan
Dr Aishah
model papan tanda
As Salam
Hal ini menarik perhatian saya telah sekian lama.
Malaysia adalah negara majmuk dengan peratusan penduduk seperti yang tercatit dalam kotak yang tertara.
SUMBER: Bureau of East Asian and Pacific Affairs 2010
Sekarang berbalik kepda model papan tanda. Muka muka atau kaum bangsa apa kah yang terbentang di papan papan tanda yang ada di sepanjang jalan. YA, muka etnik yang peratusan terkecil sekali, atau pun kacukan yang tidak menampakkan peratusan etnik yang terbesar di Malaysia ia-itu Melayu.
Hodoh sangat ke wajah wajah Melayu, rakyat perubumi Malaysia hingga tidak ternampak muka muka mereka. Kalau ada pun cuma artis. Apa salahnya mengunakan orang awam dalam menumjulkan satu satu barangan Malaysia.
Apa Nak jadi.
Hal ini menarik perhatian saya telah sekian lama.
Malaysia adalah negara majmuk dengan peratusan penduduk seperti yang tercatit dalam kotak yang tertara.
| KAUM ETNIK | PERATUSAN (%) |
| MELAYU | 53.3 |
| CINA | 26.0 |
| ASLI | 11.8 |
| INDIA | 7.7 |
| LAIN-LAIN | 1.2 |
Sekarang berbalik kepda model papan tanda. Muka muka atau kaum bangsa apa kah yang terbentang di papan papan tanda yang ada di sepanjang jalan. YA, muka etnik yang peratusan terkecil sekali, atau pun kacukan yang tidak menampakkan peratusan etnik yang terbesar di Malaysia ia-itu Melayu.
Hodoh sangat ke wajah wajah Melayu, rakyat perubumi Malaysia hingga tidak ternampak muka muka mereka. Kalau ada pun cuma artis. Apa salahnya mengunakan orang awam dalam menumjulkan satu satu barangan Malaysia.
Apa Nak jadi.
Apa guna ada teknologi
27/9/11
As Salam dan Hi
Lama saya tak menulis. Hari ni nak cerita pasal technology (IT).
IT seharusnya memudahkan hidup, mengurangkan masa, mengelakkan beratur panjang, dan banyak lagi. Sekarang nak temuduga pun tak payah hadirkan diri, gunakan skype. Surat pun tak payah guna penghantar surat. Tulis, tandatangan, scan dan hantar. Senang kan
Tapi ada agensi ada IT tapi tak gunakan terutama untuk kepentingan pelanggan. Agensi yang saya katakan ni, dah lama hidup, bertukar nama banyak kali, saya pelanggan nya dari saya umor 18 hingga 56 tahun. Alangkah sedihnya pekara berikut masih berlaku.
Saya Hilang buku, nak buat buku baru lah konon nya. Oleh kerana saya dah berpindah dari cawangan di mana saya membuka nya maka saya pun pergilah ke cawangan yang berdekatan dengan rumah saya.
Apa jawapan pegawai Bank tersebut. ""Oh, kalau buka kat cawangan A kena pergi balik kat cawangan A."" Dalam erti kata lain, jika kita buka akaun di Sarawak kemudian pindah dan bermastautin di Johor, kita mesti pulang ke sarawak untuk menutup akaun. Saya mengucap panjang bila dengar jawapan tersebut. Apa guna komputer di atas meja di depan mata.
Apa pandangan anda.
Dr Aishah
As Salam dan Hi
Lama saya tak menulis. Hari ni nak cerita pasal technology (IT).
IT seharusnya memudahkan hidup, mengurangkan masa, mengelakkan beratur panjang, dan banyak lagi. Sekarang nak temuduga pun tak payah hadirkan diri, gunakan skype. Surat pun tak payah guna penghantar surat. Tulis, tandatangan, scan dan hantar. Senang kan
Tapi ada agensi ada IT tapi tak gunakan terutama untuk kepentingan pelanggan. Agensi yang saya katakan ni, dah lama hidup, bertukar nama banyak kali, saya pelanggan nya dari saya umor 18 hingga 56 tahun. Alangkah sedihnya pekara berikut masih berlaku.
Saya Hilang buku, nak buat buku baru lah konon nya. Oleh kerana saya dah berpindah dari cawangan di mana saya membuka nya maka saya pun pergilah ke cawangan yang berdekatan dengan rumah saya.
Apa jawapan pegawai Bank tersebut. ""Oh, kalau buka kat cawangan A kena pergi balik kat cawangan A."" Dalam erti kata lain, jika kita buka akaun di Sarawak kemudian pindah dan bermastautin di Johor, kita mesti pulang ke sarawak untuk menutup akaun. Saya mengucap panjang bila dengar jawapan tersebut. Apa guna komputer di atas meja di depan mata.
Apa pandangan anda.
Dr Aishah
Monday 26 September 2011
Hi, apa yang jadi
As Salam
Tidak berniat untuk menghina atau memperkecilkan kebolehan seseorang kerana setiap manusia ada kelemahan dan kebaikkan. Sejahat jahat manusia masih ada kebaikkan dalam hati atau perilaku nya. Abu Jahal dan Abu Lahab adalah antara orang yang banyak menzalami Nabi Mohammd (SAW) tetapi sebagai seorang bapa dan suami dia seorang yang baik. Kejahatan nya juga mudah di lihat jadi bila boleh ia boleh di elakkan.
Saya juga banyak kelemahan dan keburukan tetapi berubah setelah banyak belajar dari pergaulan dengan mereka yang berbudi dan berhati mulia. Ini di dapati bila kita kerap mengembara. Satu perkara saya tidak akan berubah : berpura pura dan menjadi lalang. Apa yang salah, tetap salah dan yang betul tetap betul (halal tak boleh diharamkan, haram tak boleh di halalkan). Mengiakan tidak menegur kesalahan orang juga tidak sanggup saya lakukan kerana saya rasa bersubahat termasuk dalam kita mencari nafkah.
Saya pernah katakan saya tidak pernah datang kerja lewat, malah dalam coretan ini, saya datang seawal 6.30 pagi dan balik selewat 7.30- atau 8.00 malam). Saya juga tidak keluar untuk makan tengahhari dan jarang bersarapan diluar waktu pejabat. Maka saya dapat memerhatikan semua yang berlaku
Saya kenal individu yang amat cekap dalam tugas harian nya. Tanya apa saja, semua nya di ketahuinya. Itu pada saya adalah kepakaran dan perlu di beri penghormatan.
Individu (dan ramai lagi seperti nya) ini juga pakar memendapat dan seterusnya mengawal kawan. Orang yang di kawal bukan calang-calang orang, tinggi jawatan nya dari diri beliau termasuk lelaki dan perempuan. Kepakaran ini dipihak beliau tapi merupakan kelemahan bagi mereka yang di kawalnya kerena kawalan nya merangkupi hal hal yang bukan dalan bidang kuasa beliau. Ini hanya satu contoh kerana ramai lagi yang berkelakuan sedemekian. Berikut adalah antara perlaku yang saya perhatikan
1. Datang lewat (walaupun kad kedatangan menunjukkan beliau datang awal)
2. Berehat lebih dari waktu nya
3. Keluar bukan pada waktu rihat.
4. Mendapat waktu melawat klinik dari sembilan pagi sampai pukul lima petang.
5. Jumlah cuti sakit di ambil melebihi dari jumlah yang di benarkan.
6. Menyembunyikan surat surat penting bagi orang yang tidak dalam kelompoknya
7. Menjadi penal temuduga untuk jawatan yang hampir sama dengan beliau
8. Membuat keputusan diluar bidang kuasa tugas
Mengapa individu begini berjaya kerana ini adalah kepakaran beliau dan kelemahan mereka yang sepatutnya membetulkan dan mengambil tindakan atas kesilapan yang di lakukan.
Seperti saya katakan, ramai lagi pekerja sebegini.
Penulisan ini berdasarkan pengalaman dan pergaulan berkerja selama 40 tahun di agesi kerajaan.
Tidak berniat untuk menghina atau memperkecilkan kebolehan seseorang kerana setiap manusia ada kelemahan dan kebaikkan. Sejahat jahat manusia masih ada kebaikkan dalam hati atau perilaku nya. Abu Jahal dan Abu Lahab adalah antara orang yang banyak menzalami Nabi Mohammd (SAW) tetapi sebagai seorang bapa dan suami dia seorang yang baik. Kejahatan nya juga mudah di lihat jadi bila boleh ia boleh di elakkan.
Saya juga banyak kelemahan dan keburukan tetapi berubah setelah banyak belajar dari pergaulan dengan mereka yang berbudi dan berhati mulia. Ini di dapati bila kita kerap mengembara. Satu perkara saya tidak akan berubah : berpura pura dan menjadi lalang. Apa yang salah, tetap salah dan yang betul tetap betul (halal tak boleh diharamkan, haram tak boleh di halalkan). Mengiakan tidak menegur kesalahan orang juga tidak sanggup saya lakukan kerana saya rasa bersubahat termasuk dalam kita mencari nafkah.
Saya pernah katakan saya tidak pernah datang kerja lewat, malah dalam coretan ini, saya datang seawal 6.30 pagi dan balik selewat 7.30- atau 8.00 malam). Saya juga tidak keluar untuk makan tengahhari dan jarang bersarapan diluar waktu pejabat. Maka saya dapat memerhatikan semua yang berlaku
Saya kenal individu yang amat cekap dalam tugas harian nya. Tanya apa saja, semua nya di ketahuinya. Itu pada saya adalah kepakaran dan perlu di beri penghormatan.
Individu (dan ramai lagi seperti nya) ini juga pakar memendapat dan seterusnya mengawal kawan. Orang yang di kawal bukan calang-calang orang, tinggi jawatan nya dari diri beliau termasuk lelaki dan perempuan. Kepakaran ini dipihak beliau tapi merupakan kelemahan bagi mereka yang di kawalnya kerena kawalan nya merangkupi hal hal yang bukan dalan bidang kuasa beliau. Ini hanya satu contoh kerana ramai lagi yang berkelakuan sedemekian. Berikut adalah antara perlaku yang saya perhatikan
1. Datang lewat (walaupun kad kedatangan menunjukkan beliau datang awal)
2. Berehat lebih dari waktu nya
3. Keluar bukan pada waktu rihat.
4. Mendapat waktu melawat klinik dari sembilan pagi sampai pukul lima petang.
5. Jumlah cuti sakit di ambil melebihi dari jumlah yang di benarkan.
6. Menyembunyikan surat surat penting bagi orang yang tidak dalam kelompoknya
7. Menjadi penal temuduga untuk jawatan yang hampir sama dengan beliau
8. Membuat keputusan diluar bidang kuasa tugas
Mengapa individu begini berjaya kerana ini adalah kepakaran beliau dan kelemahan mereka yang sepatutnya membetulkan dan mengambil tindakan atas kesilapan yang di lakukan.
Seperti saya katakan, ramai lagi pekerja sebegini.
Penulisan ini berdasarkan pengalaman dan pergaulan berkerja selama 40 tahun di agesi kerajaan.
Sunday 21 August 2011
Hiding Malaysian identity
As salam and Hi
Jangan ketawakan pengunaan bahasa Melayu saya, sila perbetulkan jika perlu, kerana seperti yang saya katakan bahasa melayu saya memang tidak hebat. Maaf kerana mencampurkan pengunaan bahasa Melayu dengan English.
Hari ini saya ingin membincangkan pasal orang kita yang takut mengutarakan atau menunjukkan identity, budaya, cara hidup, amalan agama sama ada di Malaysia dan terutama sekali di luar negeri.
Kita lebih mengikut cara hidup barat
Ambil contoh makanan, sebenarnya makanan Malaysia amat di gemari termasuk orang barat. Tetapi kerana kita malu (terutama wanita melayu [dan juga lelaki Melayu] yang berkahwin dengan lelaki barat) memperkenalkan, mereka sanggup menahan selera kerana tidak mahu memasak, konon nya suami / isteri dan anak-anak tak suka. Kita malu nak gunakan tangan bila makan, malu nak gunakan batu lesung. Lihat sekarang, siapa gunakan batu lesung, Jamie Oliver, siapa masak sambal, orang barat, dan banyak makanan melayu telah di commercialkan oleh orang barat.
Untuk pelajar, yang di luar negeri, do inform professor, lecturer tentang perayaan Malaysia terutama hari raya, bulan puasa jadi mereka lebih memahami budaya dan seterusnya mereke akan menghormati nya. Inform mereka bila hari raya dan minta kebenaran untuk mengambil satu hari cuti semasa hari raya. Begitu juga jangan segan, takut, teragak-agak memberi tahu akan keperluan kita dan waktu solat kita, kerana kebanyakkan masa kita boleh menunaikan solat dan mereka akan membenarkan. Tetapi jangan salah gunakan kebenaran yang diberi
Ramai antara orang Malaysia (Melayu) yang tak tahu bila puasa dan hari raya dan tidak mengajar anak-anak atau suami akan perayaan kita sehingga anak tidak langsung mengetahui kewujudan Ramdhan dan hari raya.
Jangan hanya ketengahkan tarian dan budaya hiburan semata-mata kepada mereka.
Kita perlu mengetahu apa yang mebezakan Melayu, Islam dan barat. Tidak apa salahnya kita belajar dan mengetahui adat dan budaya barat kerana kita berada di negara mereka, tapi kekalkan identiy kita sebagai orang Melayu dan orang Islam.
Jangan kita jadi lebih barat dari orang barat.
Enjoy
Dr Aishah Ali
Next blog nak cerita pasal kakitangan bawahan yang berlagak atasan
Jangan ketawakan pengunaan bahasa Melayu saya, sila perbetulkan jika perlu, kerana seperti yang saya katakan bahasa melayu saya memang tidak hebat. Maaf kerana mencampurkan pengunaan bahasa Melayu dengan English.
Hari ini saya ingin membincangkan pasal orang kita yang takut mengutarakan atau menunjukkan identity, budaya, cara hidup, amalan agama sama ada di Malaysia dan terutama sekali di luar negeri.
Kita lebih mengikut cara hidup barat
Ambil contoh makanan, sebenarnya makanan Malaysia amat di gemari termasuk orang barat. Tetapi kerana kita malu (terutama wanita melayu [dan juga lelaki Melayu] yang berkahwin dengan lelaki barat) memperkenalkan, mereka sanggup menahan selera kerana tidak mahu memasak, konon nya suami / isteri dan anak-anak tak suka. Kita malu nak gunakan tangan bila makan, malu nak gunakan batu lesung. Lihat sekarang, siapa gunakan batu lesung, Jamie Oliver, siapa masak sambal, orang barat, dan banyak makanan melayu telah di commercialkan oleh orang barat.
Untuk pelajar, yang di luar negeri, do inform professor, lecturer tentang perayaan Malaysia terutama hari raya, bulan puasa jadi mereka lebih memahami budaya dan seterusnya mereke akan menghormati nya. Inform mereka bila hari raya dan minta kebenaran untuk mengambil satu hari cuti semasa hari raya. Begitu juga jangan segan, takut, teragak-agak memberi tahu akan keperluan kita dan waktu solat kita, kerana kebanyakkan masa kita boleh menunaikan solat dan mereka akan membenarkan. Tetapi jangan salah gunakan kebenaran yang diberi
Ramai antara orang Malaysia (Melayu) yang tak tahu bila puasa dan hari raya dan tidak mengajar anak-anak atau suami akan perayaan kita sehingga anak tidak langsung mengetahui kewujudan Ramdhan dan hari raya.
Jangan hanya ketengahkan tarian dan budaya hiburan semata-mata kepada mereka.
Kita perlu mengetahu apa yang mebezakan Melayu, Islam dan barat. Tidak apa salahnya kita belajar dan mengetahui adat dan budaya barat kerana kita berada di negara mereka, tapi kekalkan identiy kita sebagai orang Melayu dan orang Islam.
Jangan kita jadi lebih barat dari orang barat.
Enjoy
Dr Aishah Ali
Next blog nak cerita pasal kakitangan bawahan yang berlagak atasan
Thursday 18 August 2011
Bahasa Malaysia
Today I want to try writing in Malay. My English is not good but my Malay is worst especially when come to writing. It is not my fault though, I was brought up with a different style of Bahasa Melayu where Cawan is spelt Chawann e bertanda atas and so on. Even the format of letter writing also different. I do not understand the numbering in letters. Even my son said so. One day I was writing for him something and sent to him to check. He said "Umi next time, write in English and I tranlate it for you". How embarrassed is that. But accepted it because that is the reality of it, no point of denying. The same was when I am writing a report which must be in Malay. I will give it to my a very young co-worker to read it. The response is, " tak faham lah doctor".
I think Bahasa Malaysia or Bahasa Melayu has gone through more transformation than any other language including English. The victims are the people of Malaysia especially children. So everyone who reads this, are welcome to comment and make suggestion. I am going to begin with short notes in Bahasa Melayu (I like Melayu more)
Dr Aishah
I think Bahasa Malaysia or Bahasa Melayu has gone through more transformation than any other language including English. The victims are the people of Malaysia especially children. So everyone who reads this, are welcome to comment and make suggestion. I am going to begin with short notes in Bahasa Melayu (I like Melayu more)
Sesiapa juga boleh berjaya
Kejayaan boleh dicapai.
Tapi usaha perlu di sertakan...usaha dan terus berusaha
Orang cacat tanpa kaki boleh mendaki gunong
Orang miskin boleh berjaya.
Selamat membaca. Contoh kejayan di sertakan dalam blog bertajuk Cacat tapi BerjayaDr Aishah
Cacat tapi Berjaya
Nick Vujicic, pronounced
Born in 1982 in Brisbane, Australia,
without any medical explanation or warning
Gambar Nick Vujicic semasa kecil dan dewasa. Dia seorang yng berdikari
Tuesday 9 August 2011
Marrying the White or foreigner
As Salam and Hi
I would like to remind readers that what I wrote is all based on my experiences and observations and of course not everyone are the same. In some topics, majority are involved while other intances only minority are involved.
Let get back to the topic of today.
Marrying a person of different background has the good bad especially when children and religion are involved (I am talking about Malaysia). This is based on my experiences watching these people over times.
I am not going to talk about religion here . All I want to say is the type of men or women that the Malaysians (and Asian) or the white are looking or marrying and living abroad and the preception and expectation of family
1. The White MEN that are marrrying Malaysian not all are RICH. White men like Malaysians (and Asians) women because they are loyal and sincere.
1a. Unfortunately family back home thought white MEN are always rich and expect the daughter to provide for the family back home or spent money when and if they return home for holiday. In actual fact their lives are not that easy abroad. They struggle which the family does not know.
1b. You cannot aspect your daughter to send money home like we do in Malaysia (even Malaysian children also not all doing it )
1c. When family comes to visit, not all welcome in thier homes. They might put them in a motel. That is the reality. Do not aspect to be like in Malaysia when family can just come in and sleep in the house.
2. The White or foreign WOMEN that are marrying Malaysia men usually look for those who are RICH and Educated and with STATUS. They will not marrying a painter or mechanic which the Malay women did.
2b. Sadly Malay men (who is supposed tot be leader in the family) who married white women seem to follow the White women (including lifestyle). This is include those living abroad or in Malaysia. The example is many .
So Ladies and gentlemen think about it
I would like to remind readers that what I wrote is all based on my experiences and observations and of course not everyone are the same. In some topics, majority are involved while other intances only minority are involved.
Let get back to the topic of today.
Marrying a person of different background has the good bad especially when children and religion are involved (I am talking about Malaysia). This is based on my experiences watching these people over times.
I am not going to talk about religion here . All I want to say is the type of men or women that the Malaysians (and Asian) or the white are looking or marrying and living abroad and the preception and expectation of family
WHITE MEN
1. The White MEN that are marrrying Malaysian not all are RICH. White men like Malaysians (and Asians) women because they are loyal and sincere.
1a. Unfortunately family back home thought white MEN are always rich and expect the daughter to provide for the family back home or spent money when and if they return home for holiday. In actual fact their lives are not that easy abroad. They struggle which the family does not know.
1b. You cannot aspect your daughter to send money home like we do in Malaysia (even Malaysian children also not all doing it )
1c. When family comes to visit, not all welcome in thier homes. They might put them in a motel. That is the reality. Do not aspect to be like in Malaysia when family can just come in and sleep in the house.
WHITE WOMEN/ FOREIGNER
2b. Sadly Malay men (who is supposed tot be leader in the family) who married white women seem to follow the White women (including lifestyle). This is include those living abroad or in Malaysia. The example is many .
So Ladies and gentlemen think about it
Dr Aishah
Valuable Lesson
As Salam and Hi
My blog today 9/8/11 is short but with pictures.
These are some of the words and advice that the educated and the smart people like me learn from the family of one in a million
1. Love your spouse, children, mother and father by showing and saying it.
2. Hugs and kisses them daily.
3.Say thank you to everything they did and does for us (the food she cook, the child she look after, the present he bought) and say it like you meaning it. The regret will come which of no use when they are not around.
2. Say what is in your heart to them, good and bad so they can improve
3. Welcome them home each day with a smile and ask how thier days been.
4. Have only one TV in the house so everyone will sit together to watch them together. it keep the family tied and learn to compromise to see programe.
My blog today 9/8/11 is short but with pictures.
Valuable Lesson
These are some of the words and advice that the educated and the smart people like me learn from the family of one in a million
1. Love your spouse, children, mother and father by showing and saying it.
2. Hugs and kisses them daily.
3.Say thank you to everything they did and does for us (the food she cook, the child she look after, the present he bought) and say it like you meaning it. The regret will come which of no use when they are not around.
2. Say what is in your heart to them, good and bad so they can improve
3. Welcome them home each day with a smile and ask how thier days been.
4. Have only one TV in the house so everyone will sit together to watch them together. it keep the family tied and learn to compromise to see programe.
Enjoy
Dr Aishah
Sunday 7 August 2011
One in a Million Part 3
YELLOW DAIMOND
This is a picture of yellow diamond. One of the most expensive gem stones. Why am I placing the priceless gem stone here. Because I want to illustrate the person, that I mentioned briefly in my part 1 and part 2 "One in a Million". To be honest, I think she is worth than the yellow diamond. I do not know how to begin describing this individual. How good she is. Her smile, her action, her "words", her money, her energy, her goods, her heart of course, her house- it is too many to mention. Remember I mentioned that she is married to a white man and her English is not good. These are some of my favorite words. "Intrenational" for international; "respectation" for expectation," I not be at home" for I am not at home. But who care. Everyone loves it and understand her. More so English is not her first language.SIMILARITY
I can describe about this person because I live, laugh, cry,cook, eat, go places, shopping and more with her. Plus my kids were looked after by her. We get along well because there are some similarity between her (not all). She is from the same state, from poor family, loves the same food, share same sad and happy stories, and outspoken (accepted where she lives which I will tell letter). She is also patriotic in same instances
LIVE CONCEPTShe has a very noble concept in life. She use her hard life before to make other people happy. She also believe for bad things people did, there must be a reason and it should not be repaid with revenge. Continue do good deed until we knows that person is really bad through and through. If that happens, don't hate the person but stop being closed but she still welcome them and talk to them if coming in contact them.
LIVING AND TEACHING
Let begin with the little business that she is doing. When we talk business, it means selling thing with good return and I think she did that because of the rest of the things she did. Her business is very barakah. Most of the time she give away the thing that she selling. The money mostly come from people who buy for business purposes. Firstly she sell very cheap but those buying from her can muck up the prize, 2,3.4, or 5 time, and she doesn't care about it. If students come, depending on the type of students, she usually halves the price or give them for free. For any functions such as wedding, iftar, she also give her product as donation. The same if she knows the person (she knows most people in the community) ordering are poor again free. But her income never reduced.
She also taught many people how to make the product that she made. When we talk about teach, it is not pen an paper teaching or words but really teaching, coming to her house for few days to see the technique of doing, the texture of the product and the rest. Nothing is hidden. Many of her "students" are now doing their own businesses, some are commercialized by sending the product to supermarket, open a restaurant and other form business. Again her income never reduced, in fact she had to reject some of the orders.
She love to teach on the product she cooked, she also love to give what she cooks and her goods. Though, there is only three (in reality, her house always had more than three because people come and stay with her all the time, including me) people living in the house, she cooks for 10 people or more despite her daughter always tell her not to cook a lot. Because people come to her house all the times, so she makes sure there is something to eat when people come. Not only the guests eat in the house, there is some to take home. So packed goods goes along. People sometime borrows her cookery, utensils but forget to return , and she don't care most of the time. When people come and see nice things (small small things) and they like it, she gives them away. She will not ask instead she buy a new one, second hand usually, because it it easy to get second hand goods. Her answer is simple," it is not ours anymore".
BASIC HOUSEHOLD
Her house is a very simple house with basic needs but the house is full of love. She does not like her daughter to have TV in her room, so if people give her TVs, she gives them away. TV time is family time where everyone sits together. They compromise on TV programs. No arguement about it.
COOKING
I must talk about her cooking. She loves and excellent in cooking, masyallah. You will be surprise to see the way she cooks. Throw and mix anything which is relevant to the main ingredients and the product turned out delicious. Any food, French, American, Malay, Indian, and the rest. She likes to say " we make them (the food)". She knows a lot of western foods' names, the herbs, the vegetables, and the tips of saving, cooking, preserving food to last longer, to test better. She knows what foods is best for summer, and for winter. Thus when people asked her how she makes it, it is difficult to tell the measurement so the only way is to see her cooking.
By the way this roast chicken is not as good as hers. There are so many missing ingredient
SHOPPING AND SAVING
Shopping with her is also fun. Most of the time she buys second hands good (good second hand goods). But something that is needed for long time, or for health purposes, she buys brand new goods which lasted for years. She is not the type who change household furniture such as sofa regularly. It not stingy but the need is not there.
She spent her money more on foods but not to waste. left over are kept. This is okey because her daughter and her husband do not mind eating left over. This is a soft sport of her, remember how difficult lives before and how others in the third world are not getting foods to get.
CHARITYShe is also not stingy with her money. She gives a lot to charity. Anyone come knocking that her door will get something, irrespective of ethnic and religious background. That is not including the regular donation of big organizations. Money is given to people admitted to hospital example for patrol.
She is good to anyone, so when anyone is sick or dying she get to know first followed by a visit to the sick or dead people. She attended funeral in funeral homes.
WELL SPOKENShe is too outspoken. What she said is based on logic and she said what is in her mind including to her husband and her daughter. People accept it because what she say is the true things. When a person is wrong, it has to be told. She gives advices when people asked but not too pressure if people don't take her advice, because if she pushes, she will lose a friend.
MAKING JOKES
She is also good with jokes. Anyone, the young, old, men, women will stop to listen to her. Her jokes mostly about her life and about things she experiences. Never about people. Talking about people is not her cup of tea though people come and tell her stories. When she hears two stories about a person, she neither confirm it not add to the story. She just listen and continue to listen.
She rezeki is masyallah. There are always things people give her when they leave. Students who lives with her will return and buy things for her, the husband and the daughter or give money. Most of those who lives with her are now someone with high position in Malaysia from, professor, Dato' Tan Sri, business man and many more. But she never take advantages these people or uses these people for herself.
PATRIOTISMHer patriotism, this is important. Though she is unhappy, not agree about the life of people and scenario in Malaysia, nevertheless she loves Malaysia through and through. She criticized people when they say bad things about Malaysia. She is angry at people who did not sing the National Anthem in a patriotic way, loud and clear when attending national day. She is not happy when the tape replaced the people's voice. She hates that. It is like singing without soul according to her.
She looks after her husband and her daughter well. Loving, caring but not spoiling. When she goes out for any function, she makes sure to be back early because the husband need rest, remember the husband gets up early. Eating is given on time, make sure it is balanced and not too much. The same with her daughter, she cooks what she likes, but at the same time she need to be independent. If the weather is good, the daughter will walk to train station (about 10 minutes), she will drives if the weather is not good. During regular months, again walk home from work but during Ramadhan, she picks her daughter. She never clean, tidy, the daughter's room, no matter how untidy (not always) it is. That is the daughter's responsibility. Her daughter does not have a car and she does not want one, because the cost to maintain the car will her daughter's.
Everyday, I mean everyday, when the husband comes home, the first thing, they asked each other is "How is your day". From them they pick up about each other feelings, moods and start the subsequent hours based on that.
ONE IN A BILLION
I think I told enough about this person. To me, she has the heart of polished gold which is without a scratch. There is no hatred in her heart, only goods. She is not ONE in MILLION actually, She is ONE is a BILLION
I hope we learn something, I know I did. This is some of the things I remember to write. All good.
Enjoy
Dr Aishah
Dr Aishah
Sunday 31 July 2011
One in a million part 2
As salam and Hi
Continue from previous one in a million.
Today I am going to talk about the daughter. She grown up in the western world, if I did not mention before. But she is more Malay except for her skin color that follow the father.
LOVE Malay foods
She loves to eat rice, lempeng pisang (banana pancake), Sardine, capati and of course she eats western food too. She can cook and her cooking is not bad, may be not as good as her mother but the foods she cooks are nice. Not only does she knows how to make western food she too good with Malay cookies such as curry puff and she can do the side so beautiful
FLATTING
Living away from home (flatting) is common for western children after the age of 18 and she wants to do so but with her Malay mother behind her, she forgets the ideas. The mother did not stop her from moving out but if she wants to do so she must be totally responsible and independence. No stuff to be taken from home, no laundary over the weekend, no monetaty support, nothing. If she can handle all that, she can stay out. So she stay with her parents
Of course living at home comes with responsibilities. Office works during week days and house work (vacuuming, dusting, washing toilet, laundary, etc, etc) during week end. It is her chores. All these are done without being asked.
As I mentioned before she speak good Malay, she is proud to wear Malay dressing.
DRESSING
With regards to dressing, no revealing dress to be worn at home or at work. She uses Malay costume such as baju kurung. She wore it that during her convocation. She too wear skirt made of batik. She too can sew beleive it or not
TALKING
She talks and discusses with her parents about works, what what happend at work on regular basis. When discussions take place in a family, she cannot just jumps in to say, she has to put up her hands before she can be allowed to talk.
The moral of the story, it is all up to the Malay parent (be it father or mother) who can esnure the Malay are runs and stays in the blood.
That is for now. Of course I have not finished yet. In part three I will talk about the Mother, the wife, and the Woman who is the ONE in a MILLION. Meantimen, enjoy reading and give comment.
Continue from previous one in a million.
The Daughter
Today I am going to talk about the daughter. She grown up in the western world, if I did not mention before. But she is more Malay except for her skin color that follow the father.
LOVE Malay foods
She loves to eat rice, lempeng pisang (banana pancake), Sardine, capati and of course she eats western food too. She can cook and her cooking is not bad, may be not as good as her mother but the foods she cooks are nice. Not only does she knows how to make western food she too good with Malay cookies such as curry puff and she can do the side so beautiful
FLATTING
Living away from home (flatting) is common for western children after the age of 18 and she wants to do so but with her Malay mother behind her, she forgets the ideas. The mother did not stop her from moving out but if she wants to do so she must be totally responsible and independence. No stuff to be taken from home, no laundary over the weekend, no monetaty support, nothing. If she can handle all that, she can stay out. So she stay with her parents
Of course living at home comes with responsibilities. Office works during week days and house work (vacuuming, dusting, washing toilet, laundary, etc, etc) during week end. It is her chores. All these are done without being asked.
As I mentioned before she speak good Malay, she is proud to wear Malay dressing.
DRESSING
With regards to dressing, no revealing dress to be worn at home or at work. She uses Malay costume such as baju kurung. She wore it that during her convocation. She too wear skirt made of batik. She too can sew beleive it or not
TALKING
She talks and discusses with her parents about works, what what happend at work on regular basis. When discussions take place in a family, she cannot just jumps in to say, she has to put up her hands before she can be allowed to talk.
The moral of the story, it is all up to the Malay parent (be it father or mother) who can esnure the Malay are runs and stays in the blood.
That is for now. Of course I have not finished yet. In part three I will talk about the Mother, the wife, and the Woman who is the ONE in a MILLION. Meantimen, enjoy reading and give comment.
Monday 25 July 2011
One in a Miillion Part 1
As Salam
There is no word to describe this individual. I have known her for over ten years. She almost like a family to me. She is the kindest, sweetest, generous, kindhearted, sincere, genuine all in one. She is not very literate, standard three only (I think). By the way she is married to a white guy (second marriage). Her English or should I say her English grammar is not good but she get by with anyone. Her thinking, her action, her attitude is beyond those with triple Master or PhD. She is known to all the VIPs where she lives but she treats them the same. She is known to almost all people in this part of the district where she live. As far as she is concern everyone that comes to her house is the same, no Dato. Datin, Tan Sri (Yes she had all these people come to her humble house.
She has two children, one is mixed the other is Malay. She lives by her principle. She is a very Solehah wife and a good mother. She makes money through her little business in her garage. I talk about her later
Let talk about her husband. He is also being well looked after and he too look after his family well. He has the white way of living in a good way and a Malay way of living. He helps with washing cloth, doing the dishes, makes bed (every day and change bed every weekend without fail). He supported his wife in every way. He is very focus, and do things in an instance. He of course do the man job such as lawn the grass, wash around the house, gardening and the rest. So that the Western side of him. He value family live because he brought up by parents who value live
The Malay side of him, he accepted visitors to his house at anytime without appoinment because his house is the place where people meet. People come to thier house to eat, to tell thier grievences or to get help. He never complain.though a lot of times the wife is the one who entertain visitors because he works 9-5 while she is at home most of the times. He helps any new people comes and provides them with whatever they have to settle in. I forgot to mention, her husband too makes coffee for us (including the daughter) after dinner.
He is a very dicipline man. He wakes up at up at 5 am every day, do whatever he needs to do, have breakfast makes bed, read while the wife prepare his lunch box. He leaves for office at 7 am after kissing his wife. He kisses her everyday without fail. And he had packed lunch ever since he is married this wonderful person. For the past 25 years of his marriage, he never had lunch other than the lunch the wife prepared for him. If he left the lunch at home, the wife will sent it to him.
He never complain about the food (literally never) and he eats anything the wife prepare (of course the wife is an excellent cook, Malay and western foods). He only eats out when the wife is not around. He expects his wife to be at home when he got home but do not mind if she goes out as long as he is aware where she goes. He does not drink or smoke. When the wife baby sitting, he make sure the wife pays full attention to the children's well being. By the way she looked after my children when I studied. He is not a big spender who goes out to meet friends except for works related or his hobby (flying plane).
I forgot to mention; he calls his wife SAYANG and the wife calls him LOVE. They used the words with meaning and sincerity.
Let me introduce her daughter (the mixed) went to university without loan, all from her money. Her daughter speaks better Malay than the children of both Malay parents.
To be continued
There is no word to describe this individual. I have known her for over ten years. She almost like a family to me. She is the kindest, sweetest, generous, kindhearted, sincere, genuine all in one. She is not very literate, standard three only (I think). By the way she is married to a white guy (second marriage). Her English or should I say her English grammar is not good but she get by with anyone. Her thinking, her action, her attitude is beyond those with triple Master or PhD. She is known to all the VIPs where she lives but she treats them the same. She is known to almost all people in this part of the district where she live. As far as she is concern everyone that comes to her house is the same, no Dato. Datin, Tan Sri (Yes she had all these people come to her humble house.
She has two children, one is mixed the other is Malay. She lives by her principle. She is a very Solehah wife and a good mother. She makes money through her little business in her garage. I talk about her later
Let talk about her husband. He is also being well looked after and he too look after his family well. He has the white way of living in a good way and a Malay way of living. He helps with washing cloth, doing the dishes, makes bed (every day and change bed every weekend without fail). He supported his wife in every way. He is very focus, and do things in an instance. He of course do the man job such as lawn the grass, wash around the house, gardening and the rest. So that the Western side of him. He value family live because he brought up by parents who value live
The Malay side of him, he accepted visitors to his house at anytime without appoinment because his house is the place where people meet. People come to thier house to eat, to tell thier grievences or to get help. He never complain.though a lot of times the wife is the one who entertain visitors because he works 9-5 while she is at home most of the times. He helps any new people comes and provides them with whatever they have to settle in. I forgot to mention, her husband too makes coffee for us (including the daughter) after dinner.
He is a very dicipline man. He wakes up at up at 5 am every day, do whatever he needs to do, have breakfast makes bed, read while the wife prepare his lunch box. He leaves for office at 7 am after kissing his wife. He kisses her everyday without fail. And he had packed lunch ever since he is married this wonderful person. For the past 25 years of his marriage, he never had lunch other than the lunch the wife prepared for him. If he left the lunch at home, the wife will sent it to him.
He never complain about the food (literally never) and he eats anything the wife prepare (of course the wife is an excellent cook, Malay and western foods). He only eats out when the wife is not around. He expects his wife to be at home when he got home but do not mind if she goes out as long as he is aware where she goes. He does not drink or smoke. When the wife baby sitting, he make sure the wife pays full attention to the children's well being. By the way she looked after my children when I studied. He is not a big spender who goes out to meet friends except for works related or his hobby (flying plane).
I forgot to mention; he calls his wife SAYANG and the wife calls him LOVE. They used the words with meaning and sincerity.
Let me introduce her daughter (the mixed) went to university without loan, all from her money. Her daughter speaks better Malay than the children of both Malay parents.
To be continued
Saturday 16 July 2011
How Birthday Parties Began
As Salam
Where did this universal Birthday originate?
The World Book - Childcraft International says regarding "Holidays and Birthdays", "For thousands of years people all over the world have thought of a birthday as a very special day. Long ago, people believed that on a birthday a person could be helped by good spirits, or hurt by evil spirits. So, when a person had a birthday, friends and relatives gathered to protect him or her. And that's how birthday parties began."
The World Book - Childcraft International says regarding "Holidays and Birthdays", "For thousands of years people all over the world have thought of a birthday as a very special day. Long ago, people believed that on a birthday a person could be helped by good spirits, or hurt by evil spirits. So, when a person had a birthday, friends and relatives gathered to protect him or her. And that's how birthday parties began."
"The idea of putting candles on birthday cakes goes back to ancient Greece. The Greeks worshipped many gods and goddesses. Among them was one called Artemis." "Artemis was the goddess of the moon. The Greeks celebrated her birthday once each month by bringing special cakes to her temple. The cakes were round like a full moon. And, because the moon glows with light, the cakes were decorated with lighted candles."
The Greeks believed that everyone had a protective spirit or daemon who attended his birth and watched over him in life. This spirit had a mystic relation with the god on whose birthday the individual was born.
The Romans also subscribed to this idea. This notion was carried down in human belief and is reflected in the guardian angel, the fairy godmother and the patron saint. Birthday candles, in folk belief, are endowed with special magic for granting wishes. Lighted tapers and sacrificial fires have had a special mystic significance ever since man first set up altars to his gods. The birthday candles are thus an honor and tribute to the birthday child and bring good fortune.
This authority goes on: "More and more, though, people the world over attach a certain magic to their actual date of birth... We may wear a ring with our birthstone in it for good luck. And when we blow out the candles on our birthday cake, we are careful to keep what we wished a secret. If we tell, of course, our wish won't come true."
"In other words, many times one follows - THE OLD BIRTHDAY BELIEFS. one pays attention to the meanings of old-time birth symbols and indulges in OLD CELEBRATIONS. one does not take them seriously - mainly for fun.
Why do people say, "Happy birthday!" to each other? Says this authority, "For the good wishes of our friends and relatives are supposed to protect us from evil spirits."
Egyptians observed birthdays, but only for their rulers. They held parades, circuses, gladiatorial contests, and sumptuous feasts! The Romans staged parades and chariot races to celebrate birthdays; some of which were created for their gods. Mere mortals were not honored or even remembered on the day of their birth.
The birthday cake is only 200 years old! Cakes made from sweetened bread dough and coated with sugar, were the first birthday cakes and they originated in Germany.
It has been said that if the cake falls while baking, it is a sign of bad luck in the coming year. Coins, buttons, and rings were baked into cakes. The guest who receiving the slice with the coin was guaranteed riches in the future, the ring signified marriage.
In ancient times, people prayed over the flames of an open fire. They believed that the smoke carried their thoughts up to the gods. Today, the belief is, that if you blow out all your candles in one breath, your wish will come true.
All these customs and traditions connected with the observance of birthdays have to do with guessing the future, good wishes for the future, good luck charms against evil spirits, and the like. All the birthday rituals, games, and ceremonies are a form of well-wishing toward the birthday child, which are supposed to work their magic in the year ahead. But, as we have seen, the custom is totally PAGAN!
The tradition of birthday parties started in Europe a long time ago. It was feared that evil spirits were particularly attracted to people on their birthdays. To protect them from harm, friends and family would to come to be with the birthday person and bring good thoughts and wishes. Gifts brought even more good cheer to ward off the evil spirits. This is how birthday parties began.
At first it was only kings who were recognized as important enough to have a birthday celebration (maybe this is how the tradition of birthday crowns began?). As time went by, children became included in birthday celebrations. The first children's birthday parties occurred in Germany and were called Kinderfeste.
It has been said that if the cake falls while baking, it is a sign of bad luck in the coming year. Coins, buttons, and rings were baked into cakes. The guest who receiving the slice with the coin was guaranteed riches in the future, the ring signified marriage.
In ancient times, people prayed over the flames of an open fire. They believed that the smoke carried their thoughts up to the gods. Today, the belief is, that if you blow out all your candles in one breath, your wish will come true.
All these customs and traditions connected with the observance of birthdays have to do with guessing the future, good wishes for the future, good luck charms against evil spirits, and the like. All the birthday rituals, games, and ceremonies are a form of well-wishing toward the birthday child, which are supposed to work their magic in the year ahead. But, as we have seen, the custom is totally PAGAN!
The tradition of birthday parties started in Europe a long time ago. It was feared that evil spirits were particularly attracted to people on their birthdays. To protect them from harm, friends and family would to come to be with the birthday person and bring good thoughts and wishes. Gifts brought even more good cheer to ward off the evil spirits. This is how birthday parties began.
At first it was only kings who were recognized as important enough to have a birthday celebration (maybe this is how the tradition of birthday crowns began?). As time went by, children became included in birthday celebrations. The first children's birthday parties occurred in Germany and were called Kinderfeste.
Islamic Perspective
Should a Muslim have anything to do with ceremonies that trace back to pagan times, and pagan rituals? Should a true Muslim indulge himself or his or her children in pagan birthday parties, just because they seem so attractive, fun, and "innocent"?
Should a Muslim have anything to do with ceremonies that trace back to pagan times, and pagan rituals? Should a true Muslim indulge himself or his or her children in pagan birthday parties, just because they seem so attractive, fun, and "innocent"?
These birthday celebrations, therefore originated from pagan belief. These also involve imitation of the Jews and Christians in their birthday celebrations. Warning us against following their ways and traditions, The Prophet (peace and blessings of Allah be upon him) said : "You would follow the ways of those who came before you step by step, to such an extent that if they were to enter a lizard's hole, you would enter it too." They said, "O Messenger of Allah, (do you mean) the Jews and Christians?" He said, "Who else?" (Reported by al-Bukhari and Muslim). The Prophet (peace and blessings of Allah be upon him) also said: "Whoever imitates a people is one of them." (Abu Dawood)
In the Sunnah: Anas ibn Maalik (may Allah be pleased with him) said: "The Messenger of Allah (peace and blessings of Allah be upon him) came (to Madinah) and they had two days in which they would (relax and) play. He said, What are these two days? They said, We used to play (on these two days) during the Jahiliyyah. The Messenger of Allah (peace and blessings of Allah be upon him) said: Allah has given you something better instead of them: Yawm ul-Duha (Eid al-Adha) and Yawm ul-Fitr (Eid al-Fitr)." (Reported by Abu Dawood).
This indicates clearly that the Prophet (peace and blessings of Allah be upon him) definitely forbade his ummah to celebrate the festivals of the kuffaar, and he strove to wipe them out by all possible means. The fact that the religion of the People of the Book is accepted does not mean that their festivals are approved of or should be preserved by the ummah, just as the rest of their kufr and sins are not approved of. Indeed, the Prophet (peace and blessings of Allah be upon him) went to great lengths to command his ummah to be different from them in many issues that are mubaah (permitted) and in many ways of worship. This being different was to be a barrier in all aspects, because the more different you are, the less likely you are to do the acts of those who go astray.
The hadith "Every people has its festival, and this is our festival " implies exclusivity, that every people has its own festival, as Allah says (interpretation of the meaning): "For every nation there is a direction to which they face (in their prayers)" (al-Baqarah 2:148) and "To each among you, We have prescribed a law and a clear way" (al-Maaidah 5:48). This implies that each nation has its own ways. The laam in li-kulli (for every, to each) implies exclusivity. So if the Jews have a festival and the Christians have a festival, it is just for them, and we should not have any part in it, just as we do not share their qiblah (direction of prayer) or their laws.http://www.calgaryislam.com/
In the Sunnah: Anas ibn Maalik (may Allah be pleased with him) said: "The Messenger of Allah (peace and blessings of Allah be upon him) came (to Madinah) and they had two days in which they would (relax and) play. He said, What are these two days? They said, We used to play (on these two days) during the Jahiliyyah. The Messenger of Allah (peace and blessings of Allah be upon him) said: Allah has given you something better instead of them: Yawm ul-Duha (Eid al-Adha) and Yawm ul-Fitr (Eid al-Fitr)." (Reported by Abu Dawood).
This indicates clearly that the Prophet (peace and blessings of Allah be upon him) definitely forbade his ummah to celebrate the festivals of the kuffaar, and he strove to wipe them out by all possible means. The fact that the religion of the People of the Book is accepted does not mean that their festivals are approved of or should be preserved by the ummah, just as the rest of their kufr and sins are not approved of. Indeed, the Prophet (peace and blessings of Allah be upon him) went to great lengths to command his ummah to be different from them in many issues that are mubaah (permitted) and in many ways of worship. This being different was to be a barrier in all aspects, because the more different you are, the less likely you are to do the acts of those who go astray.
The hadith "Every people has its festival, and this is our festival " implies exclusivity, that every people has its own festival, as Allah says (interpretation of the meaning): "For every nation there is a direction to which they face (in their prayers)" (al-Baqarah 2:148) and "To each among you, We have prescribed a law and a clear way" (al-Maaidah 5:48). This implies that each nation has its own ways. The laam in li-kulli (for every, to each) implies exclusivity. So if the Jews have a festival and the Christians have a festival, it is just for them, and we should not have any part in it, just as we do not share their qiblah (direction of prayer) or their laws.http://www.calgaryislam.com/
Think about it
Friday 15 July 2011
Compromising on Education and Health
As Salam
A Nurse In ICU.
One go for total profit, the other go for quality. I am for quality and because of that I will not joining most private institution unless the private institution opted for profit (because they need to support them selves) at the same time maintain their quality and there are a few private institutions which do that. My focus for this topic is nursing
While the public institutions are struggling to cope with a small number of students (average 30-70 per/ year intake) for degree and diploma program, the private are taking in hundreds and a couple of time a year. And while the public institutions having many thoughts to start Master and PhD program, private institutions are eagerly wanting to run Masters and PhD program but they do not have the expertise for their students. And they somehow get the program running though, many at time the program are not approved by experts who review their document.
Malaysia currently has less than 20 nurses with PhD and most of them are in Public institutions and I can named all of them. Can we go for quality. Remember one thing, when a teacher is less knowledgeable and less experiences the students will have lesser knowledge with limited skills. As times pass, less knowledge and poorer skills are transferred. The knowledge and skills become more and more diluted. Where will these graduates work and who are they serving MAJORITY of POPULATION of MALAYSIA who are of medium and low-income group which include most of us. And at the same time the Malaysian nurses are less sought by other nations, namely middle east
The evidences are there. Recently a friend who work in an established recruitment agency for middle eastern inform me, that the hospital from middle east that came to recruit nurses rejected all the, young nurses who came for interviews. Why- poor command of English, could not answer skill based and written questions (something that was not done before) and could not explain orally on nursing issues during interviews. Most of the potential nurses are from two giant private institutions. And there are few established teaching hospital will try to avoid employing graduates (diploma) from private institutions. (Of course there are few who excel)
To teach nursing, knowledge is vital but since nursing is a skill based profession, makes skills another vital components as well. Sadly, many young graduate from Public institutions thinks that following graduation they are eligible to teach and do not require to do nursing job. They are so arrogance with their undergraduate qualifications, making fun of those who are more qualified and experiences.
There are graduate students who rejected nursing totally. They rather sell insurance by setting table at a mall. To sell insurance you need a good communication skills and line of loyal customers. They should do nursing first for few years than sell insurance, in fact they can sell insurance while still doing nursing (to do after work hours of course). I have a friends who worked as a nurse for a long period of time, now a successful insurance agents. And I also have another friend who also worked as a nurse for a period of time now is a successful lawyer. These are smart people. Now they are asset to the agencies where they work
Nurses always wants respect and says that they do not get enough respect from doctors. Asked yourself. Doctors work hard and study hard, they practice their skill. within classroom by teaching and do their practice in hospital all the times. Doctors cannot immediately teach following graduation (they need 2 years housemenship, a few more years as medical officers, then they will chose a field of specialty they are interested to study (another four years) before they can call themselves lectures. For that they can speak, mingle around and produce quality ideas in any meeting. These applied to the senior nursing lectures.
Most of the young arrogance nursing graduates, prefer not to be in hospital, if they go it is only to show faces. Students term them as TOUCH and GO lecturer (tutor in most University but in other they are call assistant lecturer).for clinical supervision and POWERPOINT lecturers (for classroom teaching). again there is those are excel during teaching.
.
I have a nice who study in private institution. She mentioned that she has a tutor (my former student) who do not how to make bed, a very simple and basic nursing procedure. It is not surprising when I further ask her bout normal reading of vital signs (BP and temperature) she cannot answer instantly, she needs to think. This did not happen when you ask the senior experience nurses.
Think about it
Dr Aishah
A Nurse In ICU.
This month will be fourth month, I am "staying home" I am happy, but I feel that my knowledge is not being transferred. I can work full time in most private institutions but it will be against my principal. Public and private institutions have different values and missions
One go for total profit, the other go for quality. I am for quality and because of that I will not joining most private institution unless the private institution opted for profit (because they need to support them selves) at the same time maintain their quality and there are a few private institutions which do that. My focus for this topic is nursing
While the public institutions are struggling to cope with a small number of students (average 30-70 per/ year intake) for degree and diploma program, the private are taking in hundreds and a couple of time a year. And while the public institutions having many thoughts to start Master and PhD program, private institutions are eagerly wanting to run Masters and PhD program but they do not have the expertise for their students. And they somehow get the program running though, many at time the program are not approved by experts who review their document.
Malaysia currently has less than 20 nurses with PhD and most of them are in Public institutions and I can named all of them. Can we go for quality. Remember one thing, when a teacher is less knowledgeable and less experiences the students will have lesser knowledge with limited skills. As times pass, less knowledge and poorer skills are transferred. The knowledge and skills become more and more diluted. Where will these graduates work and who are they serving MAJORITY of POPULATION of MALAYSIA who are of medium and low-income group which include most of us. And at the same time the Malaysian nurses are less sought by other nations, namely middle east
The evidences are there. Recently a friend who work in an established recruitment agency for middle eastern inform me, that the hospital from middle east that came to recruit nurses rejected all the, young nurses who came for interviews. Why- poor command of English, could not answer skill based and written questions (something that was not done before) and could not explain orally on nursing issues during interviews. Most of the potential nurses are from two giant private institutions. And there are few established teaching hospital will try to avoid employing graduates (diploma) from private institutions. (Of course there are few who excel)
To teach nursing, knowledge is vital but since nursing is a skill based profession, makes skills another vital components as well. Sadly, many young graduate from Public institutions thinks that following graduation they are eligible to teach and do not require to do nursing job. They are so arrogance with their undergraduate qualifications, making fun of those who are more qualified and experiences.
There are graduate students who rejected nursing totally. They rather sell insurance by setting table at a mall. To sell insurance you need a good communication skills and line of loyal customers. They should do nursing first for few years than sell insurance, in fact they can sell insurance while still doing nursing (to do after work hours of course). I have a friends who worked as a nurse for a long period of time, now a successful insurance agents. And I also have another friend who also worked as a nurse for a period of time now is a successful lawyer. These are smart people. Now they are asset to the agencies where they work
Nurses always wants respect and says that they do not get enough respect from doctors. Asked yourself. Doctors work hard and study hard, they practice their skill. within classroom by teaching and do their practice in hospital all the times. Doctors cannot immediately teach following graduation (they need 2 years housemenship, a few more years as medical officers, then they will chose a field of specialty they are interested to study (another four years) before they can call themselves lectures. For that they can speak, mingle around and produce quality ideas in any meeting. These applied to the senior nursing lectures.
Most of the young arrogance nursing graduates, prefer not to be in hospital, if they go it is only to show faces. Students term them as TOUCH and GO lecturer (tutor in most University but in other they are call assistant lecturer).for clinical supervision and POWERPOINT lecturers (for classroom teaching). again there is those are excel during teaching.
.
I have a nice who study in private institution. She mentioned that she has a tutor (my former student) who do not how to make bed, a very simple and basic nursing procedure. It is not surprising when I further ask her bout normal reading of vital signs (BP and temperature) she cannot answer instantly, she needs to think. This did not happen when you ask the senior experience nurses.
Think about it
Dr Aishah
Wednesday 13 July 2011
Marriage and Divorce make it easy
Marriage is a very happy occassion and a time of joy. Every couple who gor married hope that the marriage will last forever, -happily ever after. To do that a lot need to be done by each spouse- husband and wife. Marriage need to ignited and spice up to keep it alive, and to continue the love and affection for one another.
Marriage is sharing and giving by both. It is not one way. Both spouse have responsibilities, which mean equal but of course there are role which only women can do, like getting pregnant, and there are a role of a man which is to provide (Shelter, food and protection).
Sherif Mohammed says by getting married a man is not just getting a wife, he also getting a whole world. The wife will the partner, the companion, and the best friend.
She will share your moments, your days, and your years. She will share your joys and sorrows, your successes and failures, your dreams and your fears. She take the best care of you when you ill; when you need help, she will do all she can for you When you have a secret, she will keep it; when you need advice, she will give you the best advice. She will always be with you: when you wake up in the morning the first thing your eyes will see will be hers; during the day, she will be with you, if for a moment she is not with you by her physical body, she will be thinking of you, praying for you with all her heart, mind, and soul; when you go to sleep at night, the last thing your eyes will see will be her; and when you are asleep you will still see her in your dreams. In short, she will be your whole world and you will be her whole world.
Spouses are like garments to each other because they provide one another with the protection, the comfort, the cover, the support, and the adornment that garments provide to humans.
As explained in surah baqarah 2:187 "They are your garments and you are their garments"The relationship between the spouses is the most amazing of all human relations: the amount of love and affection, intimacy and closeness, mercy and compassion, peace and tranquillity that fills the hearts of the spouses is simply inexplicable.
The only rational explanation for these most amazing of all human feelings is as the Quran says
"And Allah has made for you Mates (and Companions) of your own nature ..." (Surah Al Nahl 16:72)
Allah SWT reminding those who search for His signs in the universe that these feelings in the hearts of the spouses are among the signs that should guide humans to His existence as He says in the Qur'an,
"And among His signs is this, that He created for you mates from among yourselves that you may dwell in tranquillity with them and He has put love and mercy between your hearts: verily in that are signs for those who reflect." (Surah Al Rum 30:21)
But Allah SWT knows that the human heart is not a static entity, it is sometimes weak and at times dynamic. Feelings can and do change with time. Love may wither and fade away. The marital bond might weaken if not properly cared for. Happiness in marriage cannot be taken for granted; continuous happiness requires constant giving from both sides. For the tree of marital love to remain alive and keep growing, the soil has to be sustained, maintained, watered and nurtured.
The Prophet Muhammad (pbuh) had found the time to go out to the desert and race with his wife Aisha. She out ran him but later after she had gained some weight, he out ran her.
He took his wife to watch the young Ethiopians playing and dancing their folk dances. The show of emotions is necessary to keep the marital bond away from rusting and disintegrating.
You will be rewarded by Allah SWT for any emotions you show to your wife as the Prophet (pbuh) said "one would be rewarded for anything that he does seeking the pleasure of Allah even the food that he puts in the mouth of his wife."
Never underestimate the importance of seemingly little things as putting food in your wife's mouth, opening the car's door for her, etc.
Prophet (pbuh) used to extend his knee to his wife to assist her up to ride the camel.
Try to always find some time for both of you to pray together. Strengthening the bond between you and Allah SWTis the best guarantee that your own marital bond would always remain strong. Having peace with Allah Subhanahu wa Ta'ala will always result in having more peace at home.
Prophet (pbuh) gave glad tidings for those couples who wake up at night to pray together. He urged the spouse who rises up first to wake the other spouse up even by throwing cold water on his/her face.
Always try your best to be good to your wife by words and by deeds. Talk to her, smile to her, seek her advice, ask for her opinion, spend quality time with her and always. Prophet (pbuh) said "the best of you are those who are best to their wives."
It is not enough just to vow to love your wife. You have to love what she loves as well. Her family, her loved ones must also become your loved ones. Also, it is not enough that you love her until death do you part. Love should never end and we do believe there is life after death where those who did righteousness in this world will be joined by their spouses (Surah Al Zukhruf 43:70) and offsprings.
The best example in this regard is the Prophet (pbuh) whose love for Khadija, extended to include all those she loved and continued even after her death. It was many years after her death and he never forgot her and whenever a goat was slaughtered in his house he would send portions of it to Khadija's family and friends and whenever he felt that the visitor at the door might be Khadija's sister Hala, he would pray saying "O Allah let it be Hala."
-
But not all hopeS will come true or fulfillED. Today marriages to last forver will need miracle.
Despit the marriage courses conducted, the number of dovorces increases. The marriage courses usually stress on the women's role but limited is explained on the men's role as presnted in the example given and shown in the Quran and by Prophet (pbuh).
As an agency or organization that handled marriage and divorce, needs to be professional and handle divorce as fair nd equal as possible.
People or couple who have experience oversea lives usually choose to get married oversea or get divorce oversea because it is fast, and painless. The princip is simple. Based on the marriage vow, if a man failed to provide physical, emotional, sexual needs, marriage become void. Of course the rules, the hukum (hukum Islam, that is) applied.
I have known people (not one) who got married (nikah) oversea and come home for the ceremony and I also have friends who divorce not settle after years in court remarry oversea.
The longer the process takes, the more people money are spents and more times are wasted.
When marriage should end, it need to end as happy as the marriage was. Unfortunately it does not. It usually ends with bitterness, costly, humiliation, long process and hatred. And it is the females will suffer the most.
Marriage is sharing and giving by both. It is not one way. Both spouse have responsibilities, which mean equal but of course there are role which only women can do, like getting pregnant, and there are a role of a man which is to provide (Shelter, food and protection).
Sherif Mohammed says by getting married a man is not just getting a wife, he also getting a whole world. The wife will the partner, the companion, and the best friend.
She will share your moments, your days, and your years. She will share your joys and sorrows, your successes and failures, your dreams and your fears. She take the best care of you when you ill; when you need help, she will do all she can for you When you have a secret, she will keep it; when you need advice, she will give you the best advice. She will always be with you: when you wake up in the morning the first thing your eyes will see will be hers; during the day, she will be with you, if for a moment she is not with you by her physical body, she will be thinking of you, praying for you with all her heart, mind, and soul; when you go to sleep at night, the last thing your eyes will see will be her; and when you are asleep you will still see her in your dreams. In short, she will be your whole world and you will be her whole world.
Spouses are like garments to each other because they provide one another with the protection, the comfort, the cover, the support, and the adornment that garments provide to humans.
As explained in surah baqarah 2:187 "They are your garments and you are their garments"The relationship between the spouses is the most amazing of all human relations: the amount of love and affection, intimacy and closeness, mercy and compassion, peace and tranquillity that fills the hearts of the spouses is simply inexplicable.
The only rational explanation for these most amazing of all human feelings is as the Quran says
"And Allah has made for you Mates (and Companions) of your own nature ..." (Surah Al Nahl 16:72)
Allah SWT reminding those who search for His signs in the universe that these feelings in the hearts of the spouses are among the signs that should guide humans to His existence as He says in the Qur'an,
"And among His signs is this, that He created for you mates from among yourselves that you may dwell in tranquillity with them and He has put love and mercy between your hearts: verily in that are signs for those who reflect." (Surah Al Rum 30:21)
But Allah SWT knows that the human heart is not a static entity, it is sometimes weak and at times dynamic. Feelings can and do change with time. Love may wither and fade away. The marital bond might weaken if not properly cared for. Happiness in marriage cannot be taken for granted; continuous happiness requires constant giving from both sides. For the tree of marital love to remain alive and keep growing, the soil has to be sustained, maintained, watered and nurtured.
The Prophet Muhammad (pbuh) had found the time to go out to the desert and race with his wife Aisha. She out ran him but later after she had gained some weight, he out ran her.
He took his wife to watch the young Ethiopians playing and dancing their folk dances. The show of emotions is necessary to keep the marital bond away from rusting and disintegrating.
You will be rewarded by Allah SWT for any emotions you show to your wife as the Prophet (pbuh) said "one would be rewarded for anything that he does seeking the pleasure of Allah even the food that he puts in the mouth of his wife."
Never underestimate the importance of seemingly little things as putting food in your wife's mouth, opening the car's door for her, etc.
Prophet (pbuh) used to extend his knee to his wife to assist her up to ride the camel.
Try to always find some time for both of you to pray together. Strengthening the bond between you and Allah SWTis the best guarantee that your own marital bond would always remain strong. Having peace with Allah Subhanahu wa Ta'ala will always result in having more peace at home.
Prophet (pbuh) gave glad tidings for those couples who wake up at night to pray together. He urged the spouse who rises up first to wake the other spouse up even by throwing cold water on his/her face.
Always try your best to be good to your wife by words and by deeds. Talk to her, smile to her, seek her advice, ask for her opinion, spend quality time with her and always. Prophet (pbuh) said "the best of you are those who are best to their wives."
It is not enough just to vow to love your wife. You have to love what she loves as well. Her family, her loved ones must also become your loved ones. Also, it is not enough that you love her until death do you part. Love should never end and we do believe there is life after death where those who did righteousness in this world will be joined by their spouses (Surah Al Zukhruf 43:70) and offsprings.
The best example in this regard is the Prophet (pbuh) whose love for Khadija, extended to include all those she loved and continued even after her death. It was many years after her death and he never forgot her and whenever a goat was slaughtered in his house he would send portions of it to Khadija's family and friends and whenever he felt that the visitor at the door might be Khadija's sister Hala, he would pray saying "O Allah let it be Hala."
-
But not all hopeS will come true or fulfillED. Today marriages to last forver will need miracle.
Despit the marriage courses conducted, the number of dovorces increases. The marriage courses usually stress on the women's role but limited is explained on the men's role as presnted in the example given and shown in the Quran and by Prophet (pbuh).
As an agency or organization that handled marriage and divorce, needs to be professional and handle divorce as fair nd equal as possible.
People or couple who have experience oversea lives usually choose to get married oversea or get divorce oversea because it is fast, and painless. The princip is simple. Based on the marriage vow, if a man failed to provide physical, emotional, sexual needs, marriage become void. Of course the rules, the hukum (hukum Islam, that is) applied.
I have known people (not one) who got married (nikah) oversea and come home for the ceremony and I also have friends who divorce not settle after years in court remarry oversea.
The longer the process takes, the more people money are spents and more times are wasted.
When marriage should end, it need to end as happy as the marriage was. Unfortunately it does not. It usually ends with bitterness, costly, humiliation, long process and hatred. And it is the females will suffer the most.
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